Sitting in the school library overlooking the polemic London city airport, gazing through the wide glass walls and watching luxair flights land and take off,;I felt the silence of Christmas. With that cosy Christmas weather which had began to flood in softly, I searched my heart, looking to find those missing elements that had been saved in my memories. The windy snow drops, constantly shadowing the cloud and making the feeling of Christmas grow real, began to sing melodies to my ears. While envisaging the roof, garden, cars, plants and flowers covered with snow, bringing the popular white Christmas to my lovely city, the thought about the family raised my blood pressure; with my heart palpitating, elevated the sadness so difficult to imagined in such an extra-ordinary time. Everything seemed perfect except the yearn for a peaceful family celebration which remained conspicuously unattainable…yet.
I began to imagine how every child during Christmas, squeeze into every corner of the house a piece of paper addressed to Santa Claus. How innocent they were, believing that all their demands were fetched by the invisible Santa. Perhaps, the fairy tales of the unseen messenger who rewards good kids and castigates the bad ones has eroded their minds. So indelible were the images of him (Santa Claus) in those little ones, dreaming only about the TV movies that characterize him as a wonderful gentleman and best friend to every western kid. What a wasted childhood I had! Born and breed in a continent where the Santa, perhaps, was never mentioned to kids. With no toys or special present that reminded me of him, I grew up knowing only family during Christmas.
The love and bond of a loving family sustained me to this age. It has been the only thing that matters to me during Christmas. Now, I am faced with the illusive thought about the kind of treat this Christmas will bring. Love? Family? Ostentatious presents? Money? Never mind, it has always remained a closely guided secret to me, but the love of God however, has never ceased to be assured and daily revealed. The memories of my loved ones living far away and those who have passed away bring such nostalgic feeling too difficult to evade at this moment. These are the kind of things that make Christmas season conspicuously different, nostalgia and the feeling of divine presence. Perhaps the best time to reflect on the events of your life all through the year, thus, a comprehensive assessment of your achievement and losses, so transcendental to all who observe Christmas.
Daddy had inculcated this practice and value into all of us his children. He had thought us to make amendments’ for our errors, improve on our vision and projects and crave for more prosperous life. Although the understanding of prosperity is widely classified under material acquisitions, but we were made to believe that all blessing from God, ranging from your children, their perfect upbringing, your investments, your friends and acquaintances, your academic updates, your spiritual knowledge, your family, your good health etc, add up to a prosperous person. Counting on my blessings has made me realise how prosperous I am and how thankful I should be to God the almighty.
Perhaps, my new year resolution should be to strive to amend the wrongs of this slowly fazing year; filled with the spirit of God almighty and armed with his words and divine promises, I surely look forward, with optimism, to it’s accomplishment. All my hopes and dreams will not be subjected to the nostalgic prompts of Christmas, but will come true through the optimism and faith in the promises of the same Christ whose birthday we celebrate.
In the absence of my loved ones and the proximity of Christ to my life, I celebrate Christmas with mixed feelings; feelings of loss and gain. My treat would have come from heaven if I didn’t loose the touch of understanding with God through my mistakes. Yet, I am still confident that he cuddles my imperfections with great love and affection. Definitely a model to follow, loving greatly and affectionately desiring love, joy, peace etc. While I sit here missing you, I project the pain with which I face this lonely moment and the emptiness your absence has unveiled and revealed in my heart towards prayer and best Christmas wishes to you all.
Merry Christmas and prosperous New year. “Paz y Bien“!
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